January 30, 2012

The Jan. 16 article on sexual teaching led me to thing about a related issue. In recent discussions with friends, we all knew of situations of young husbands "pulling the plug" on their wives and families. Young men in their thirties and forties under stress from financial pressures, failing professions, inability to communicate, etc., have simply said, "I'm out of here." Often, the wife is left with a load of guilt and sometimes a home, children and a job to look after. In his book Point Man, Steven Farrar quotes a Chinese proverb – "It is harder to lead a family than to rule a nation." Maybe these young men were not ready for the demands of marriage. Maybe they wanted more than 50 per cent of the say and the action, or maybe they haven't got over their first love affair – the one with themself. When wondering why, maybe we should look at the previous generation of fathers. What kind of mentors were they? How did they share the load at home? The final fall may start with a vulnerable young man, an attractive young lady, an innocent smile and lingering visits in the hall or parking lot. Next comes coffee or lunch together. Then boom! The next step takes place in a motel and irreparable damage has been done to a young family, a young wife and perhaps an innocent young lady who was drawn into this sad soap opera. During this decade, one out of two marriages will end in divorce. Two out of five households will be maintained by a husband-less wife Perhaps churches, social services and today's families have to think about help, communication and support for young fathers-husbands and to bring up young men strong enough to be Point Men in tomorrow's new family.

Bob Weller
Sherwood Park