Under the five 'Ps' find personal peace advised parish priest

Author and her family now live according to Mother's Rule of Life

By RAMON GONZALEZ
WCR Staff Writer
Drayton Valley

Her house was dirty, the laundry undone and she felt frustrated, discouraged and alone. Holly Pierlot's life was a total mess back in 2000.

Pounding her fist on the kitchen table Pierlot yelled, "I can't take it anymore." She was clearly overwhelmed by motherhood and homeschooling.

"I had too much on my plate," the mother of five recalled in a recent interview from her home in Prince Edward Island. "I had a new baby at the time and I was homeschooling my other (four) children.

"It was a very busy time and I was overwhelmed. I wasn't getting my work done. I wasn't having any space or time for myself. I couldn't get my prayer in. I was disorganized."

Mother's Rules

At that point, Pierlot decided she needed to bring changes into her life. So she crafted what she calls her Mother's Rule of Life.

This, she maintains, is not just a set of schedules but a pattern for living that combines the spiritual wisdom of the monastery with the practical wisdom of motherhood.

Thanks to the rule, everything is now okay at the Pierlots' home. She still homeschools, but the house is cleaner, she gets more done and the kids are happier. Actually Pierlot only does the laundry; the children do most of the cooking and the cleaning. Best of all, she spends at least an hour each day in prayer and spends time each evening with her husband Philip.

A popular speaker at marriage and catechetical programs and homeschooling conferences, Pierlot will lead a workshop on her rule April 26 in Drayton Valley.

"I'm going to talk about motherhood in a society that rejects it and about how to get organized," she said. "A mother's rule is about bringing order and peace and God to our lives. And it is an imitation of the Blessed Mother."

In 2004 Pierlot released a book called A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul. The book, which has sold 30,000 copies, defines motherhood as a vocation and explores how religious orders find success in living out their vocations because of their rules. That's what Pierlot did in her own life.

"Basically I ended up taking the tradition of the Catholic Rule of Life and applying it to the married vocation," she said. "A rule of life is a conscious attending to your vocation."

In practical terms, a mother's rule of life is a time management and a priority issue. That means getting one's Ps in order. P stands for priority and there are five Ps in a mother's rule of life.

The Five 'Ps'

Pierlot learned this from an old priest when she got married.

• The first P is prayer and means putting God first and surrendering to his will;
• The second P is person, which means that as a human person a mother needs adequate physical care, rest and recreation;
• The third P is partner and has to do with the mother's relationship with her husband;
• The fourth P is parent and covers the responsibilities of being a mother;
• The fifth P is provider and deals with finances, income-producing work and housework.

Noting that the first four Ps are all relationship issues, Pierlot said, "It's all about putting the people in your life above the things in your life.

"So many mothers turn this upside down. And fathers too. Fathers spend a lot of time at work and they put work first. Then the family suffers."

When Pierlot put her Ps in order her life changed almost immediately.

"Within 24 hours I noticed a huge reduction in my stress, my house was cleaner, my duties were done and all because I decided to just pay attention to what it was that the Lord was asking me to do and to do it."

Her rule brought order and organization into her home and family. With order, came peace, tranquility and time.

"Everyone knew when prayer time was; everyone knew when the cleaning was going to be done but it didn't run our lives. Everyone knew when mommy was going to get her day out."

The children responded positively to the rule in part because Pierlot stopped calling them out of their playtime to do work.

"An organized mother makes for happier kids."

The Pierlots have prayer every morning. They also go to Mass in the mornings and have an after-lunch quiet time when Pierlot prays for half an hour. They all have family prayer at 8 p.m., which is usually the rosary. Then Pierlot has her own spiritual reading on top of that.

Pierlot began writing her book in 2003, three years after her household began living under her rule.

"I just wrote for two-and-a-half hours every afternoon for four months," she noted.

All five children have specific chores and the only normal housework chore Pierlot does is the laundry.

"I've always sort of looked at it this way - the work belongs to the family; it doesn't belong to the mother."

Pierlot spends her time doing other things now, including homeschooling, writing, lecturing and studying for her master's degree in pastoral and educational studies.

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