Reconciliation is humbling experience, say local priests

But seeing a person reunited with God is uniquely beautiful

- Design Pics photo Confession is difficult because in it we become vulnerable, says Father Paul Moret.

By BILL GLEN
WCR Staff Writer
Edmonton

Reconciliation might be a sacrament some people wish to avoid, but it is one of the most blessed to receive.

Perhaps people wouldn't be as hesitant to go to Confession if they better understood what they were doing, says Father Sylvain Casavant.

"They are always going to be hesitant because the reality of our sins is that they hold onto us. We are afraid to let other people experience them," said Casavant, pastor of St. Thomas More Parish.

To get rid of sin is a humbling experience, he added.

"Coming to Confession is to come to humility, recognizing your sin in the sight of God. I always tell people that if they are afraid, it's only natural because once we've sinned, we spend an awful lot of time acting as if we didn't do anything. It's a natural response."

Take Adam and Eve, for example. What was their first response when God said 'Did you eat of the tree I told you not to eat?' They said 'No. What are you talking about?'

"It's what we automatically do," Casavant said.

When people tell Casavant they don't like going to Confession, he advises them to stop looking at the negative of expressing their sins and recognize the positive of God's grace in the midst of it.

"If we say we want to get rid of our sin, we know we need to do so not on our own, but with the grace of God. If we could do so on our own, we would never come to the sacrament of Reconciliation. In Reconciliation, we are given the graces necessary to overcome ourselves."

Father Paul Moret encourages everyone to read Archbishop Thomas Collins' pastoral letter Reconciliation: 'Go in Peace' that was published in the WCR in 2004. It can be found online at www.wcr.ab.ca/bishops/collins/2004/archbishopcollins012604.shtml#linkback".

"We recognize that Confession is the most difficult of the sacraments in that we become vulnerable. There are always fears of shame, saying sins in front of another person," said Moret, vocations director for the Edmonton Archdiocese.

Not all sins are the same. Venial sins can hurt relationships but do not kill them absolutely. Some examples are cursing, a bad temper or rudeness. Basically, they are signs of human frailty.

Mortal sins kill a person's freedom and his ability to choose God. They destroy charity in his heart.

Moret said mortal sins must be confessed. "It is important to confess these kinds of sins and how often they are committed for the integrity of the sacrament," he said.

Casavant emphasized that there is no sin a person could possibly do to stop God from loving them absolutely. If there were, he would no longer be God.

"Some things we do with family and friends might break a relationship, while some things we do will kill it."

Casavant mentioned adultery as a relationship killer, but said showing up for work three hours late does not have the same effect on the relationship.

"There isn't the same sort of frustration or hurt," he said. "But I always try to tell people to try and not assume their sin is greater than God's love."

A good Confession brings sins into the open that are the most serious and problematic at that time, Moret said.

Bringing a list of sins to Confession is not a problem for Casavant. He cautions, however, that he can't speak for any other priest. "If it's a matter of needing some help to remember, then it's fine."

Weeds in the garden

Sins are like weeds in a garden. A person can go to Confession but only pull away at the surface. What is needed is to get to the roots of the issues - to scour away at the real filth.

"The question we often need to ask ourselves to get to the root cause of sin is 'Why did I do that?'" Moret said.

"We need to get all the way back to find the real cause. We often have a certain amount of selfishness and pride that are often demonstrated through certain actions. Even when we can take away the part we see, the root remains.

"Going to Confession on a consistent basis helps to pull out that root by making us aware of it and giving the graces to help us deal with it."

Doctor of the soul

Father Don Stein called a priest "the spiritual doctor of the soul." Just like seeing a medical doctor, if a person doesn't reveal what is truly bothering them, then how can a priest truly help?

"We have to go into the core for the very heart of their relationship with God," said Stein, pastor of Sacred Heart Parish in Red Deer. "We have to help them with their responsibility and their understanding that they are disciples of Christ."

Reconciliation is to look at yourself in the mirror and see where you stand before God, he said.

"You are disappointed you're not more like Christ? Going a little deeper, a person asks what motivates them. They confess they get angry five times a week, but anger is a cover-up for the real cause. Was it jealousy, envy or power? Was it control? What is deeper is the root, and we try to see it before a merciful God."

A person has to be motivated almost like the prodigal son, Stein said.

"When you hit flat bottom and your face is in the mud, you come out and say 'I need God and his merciful love' because we are sinners."

Seeing a person reconcile with God through Confession is a uniquely beautiful experience, Stein said.

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