Chaplains hear with their hearts

Journeying with a dying patient takes integrity and grace

By RENATO GANDIA
WCR Staff Writer
Edmonton

What a chaplain does is sometimes misconstrued as the same as what a social worker does or even that of a counsellor.

The WCR interviewed three chaplains who shared their experiences and insights about what they do when dealing with a dying patient.

Mirroring God

It even inspired her to write a Ph.D. dissertation called, Terminal Illness and the Experience of God: A Qualitative Study of the Transitional Space.

"I had a hard time receiving that affirmation," she told the WCR.

She asked, "Is this true?"

Who is God? How do we meet God in the midst of suffering? These questions are often asked quietly. Sometimes not verbalized because God is ever changing for terminally ill people, she said.

When Plouffe starts journeying with a patient, it is like entering into the desert.

"You go into a space that is painful, where there's chaos and conflict. One of my questions always is, 'Is God important in this? or Where is God in all of this?"

"It's exciting to see how people through the pain and suffering are transformed and come to a very rich experience of God. The experience is so sacred, so mystical. It's all pre-verbal, symbolic gestures, there's no word really."

For Plouffe, who has been a chaplain at this hospital for 15 years, one of the key jobs as a chaplain is to be able to facilitate that experience of God.

"We can do that because we are all created in the image and likeness of God. We can mirror God to our patients. And sometimes we can't see God in suffering, but our constant presence should bring that in."

If patients don't know how to listen, part of her job is to invite them to listen and search where God might be.

She once journeyed with a man who came from the corporate world. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

He said, "I've relied on my thinking all my life. And now I am losing my mind."

But one day he said to Plouffe, "Can you hear it? God took away some capacities but I've gained something. That hole in my head. I can hear the music and I can hear God in there."

Compassion for the patients is one of the most important elements of what a chaplain does. One must also be able to journey with people.

"Sometimes they are very wounded by the Church, so you don't start talking about God." - Fr. Louis-Philippe Caissie

"You have to enter people's pain and stay there for the long haul. Not just in and out. You have to be able to journey. And to continue wherever this is going to take them."

Plouffe insisted, "You can't do it from the outside. Patients know that immediately even though you don't talk about it. They know how available and authentic you are and if you've got integrity. Is she really on her faith journey or is she just doing her job?"

To journey with others is always a challenge. It is like moving into a new territory, new land, new darkness, pointed out Plouffe.

"You have to be grounded in prayer and to realize that you're the chaplain, but you're just an instrument. You're just a go-between. You're just a pointer to God, but you're not God."

The chaplain needs to leave space for God and get out of the way of God, said Plouffe.

Spiritual clinician

"Hospital chaplains are spiritual care givers. We are trained and formed through the clinical pastoral education that prepares men and women to be spiritual care givers."

Chaplains are clinicians in a spiritual way, to put it simply.

"We are there to provide the spiritual care. The first thing that we need to do is we need to have good listening skills. Because that's how we determine the area of spiritual needs. So chaplains are expected to do a spiritual assessment of a person."

Being a chaplain is a humbling experience for Caissie. The retired priest told how chaplains deal with "something so sacred, especially when the journey is towards the end of people's life."

That's why it is imperative to hone listening skills. "Not only listening ears, but listening hearts," the priest stressed.

Reconciliation is frequently an issue. Some persons need to be reconciled with family members or with their own life.

People might have guilt, unfinished business with their personal life or with their religions. And when this comes, celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation becomes opportune.

"The sacrament for the sick and dying is only one part of the care. Sometimes we rush the sacrament and there's something deeper to explore," cautioned the priest.

For example, in the case of people dying with AIDS, "Sometimes they are very wounded by the Church, so you don't start talking about God. You have to wait until they bring the issue of God, faith, religion and all that. And sometimes they never do.

"Sometimes we rush the sacrament and there's something deeper to explore." - Fr. Louis-Philippe Caissie

What I would like to do is to let the person know that if they would like to talk about God that I am there for that.

Life review

Life review is a process people often go through as they have been confronted with something that is life threatening, or if they are confronted with the possibility their life is coming to an end.

In such a process, chaplains accompany the patients in looking back through life, focusing on significant relationships and accomplishments. Some actions make them proud. Other things they have done make them ashamed and they look for ways to right the wrongs.

"Sometimes it's simply a matter of celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation for some Catholics," Johnson said.

After 11 years of chaplaincy, he encountered people with little or no religious experience at all who are trying to make sense of their lives and understand what death may be like for them.

"As a chaplain, one needs to be able to journey with the people with dignity and respect, helping them articulate what they needed to articulate."

The same is true with grieving relatives, added Johnson. "What is important for chaplains to do is also entering and walking with them in the grieving process."

Like other chaplains, what Johnson does is invite people to experience their grieving response instead of fighting it.

"The first piece of that is to acknowledge that somebody is dying. And even that can be painful for people.

"Sometimes to make it work, we have to hear the absolute refusal of the family that their relative is dying while the process of dying is happening before their eyes."

His primary focus is not to preach, articulate or defend God, but to hear and enter grieving people's pain, suffering, angst and anguish.

"In my hearing that, the theology that I utilize is called the incarnational theology . . . seeking to reflect that, even in the midst of difficult times, we are not alone because God is with us."

Once Johnson was told, "So is this what you do? Help people accept the death of their loved ones? What a shitty job."

Johnson replies,"I can't say that I enjoy the work because who could say they enjoy sitting with people in the darkest moment of their lives. But I can't think of more important ministry to do."

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