Last Updated: Friday - 09/24/2010
Week of January 25, 1999
Relying on God's help
Local couple says daily prayer for your spouse 'really works'
By LELLA BLUMER
Special to the WCR
It all started with a blind date between two people who grew up in the same neighbourhood but had never met.
Harry fell head over heels for Judy, and "it's been that way ever since," he says.
Thirty-five years, five different cities and nine children later, Judy and Harry Buddle are still together. They both talk about the importance of communication, trust, and a sense of humour in building a relationship. But the most important factor for the Edmonton couple is a commitment to the vows they made 35 years ago.
Although their backgrounds are different, both come from families where "it was expected that you make a commitment to marriage and work at it. You work through your difficulties," Judy says.
Both also learned to trust in God and have a strong faith life.
"Everybody has those really bad days, and you need to ask God for help in your marriage," Judy says, adding that she once received some really good advice from a priest who told her to go home and pray for her spouse, every day.
"Believe it or not, it really works," she says with a laugh.
With three of their own children married, Judy and Harry have tried to be the same strong role models their own parents were.
They also share their experience and advice with engaged couples through the marriage preparation program at St. Thomas More Parish in southwest Edmonton. One of the biggest differences they see between themselves and most of the couples in the program is the number of material possessions today's newlyweds seem to have.
"A lot of young people have satisfied themselves before marriage," Harry says. "I think you might have a better chance of making it together if you sacrifice together for the things you want.
"We entered into marriage with a great sense of adventure, and a willingness to go with it," he adds. "For some, it seems that sense of adventure is missing."
The number of couples living together without being married is a concern, he says, because when things get tough, "there is nothing to automatically bind you together."
Judy agrees that a commitment to the sacrament of Marriage, and a continuing faith life, is what has helped her and Harry through the tough times in their marriage. "If you try to rely on your own resources, you'll never make it."