'Twas the Month before Christmas

Your Earth

By SUZANNE ELSTON

Twas the month before Christmas and all through the mall,
The stores had been decked since the first day of fall.
The toys had been stacked to the ceiling with care,
In hopes that consumers would soon gather there.

The children had visions of quite a good stash,
While grandma and grandpa said, "Just give them cash!"
So Dad in the Bimmer and I in the van,
Drive down to the mall, just as fast as we can.

When outside the mall there arose such a noise,
A truck had delivered a fresh load of toys.
The crowd rushed right in and they started to grab,
This season's top toys that their children must have.

While back in the mall things were getting quite rough,
I put on my game face and started to shove.
My list was quite long and my patience quite short,
So I logged on to eBay as my final resort.

Now iPod, now X-Box, now Star Wars, Part III,
A sack full of board games from Milton Bradley.
An iDog, a Game Boy, a widescreen TV,
I needed these presents for under my tree.

I put in my bids and I waited my time,
The last bids went in and the goods were all mine!
"My VISA's rejected, now what do I do?"
I charged them to AMEX - the sales all went through.

My credit card bills soon arrived in the mail.
"I simply can't pay these!" I started to wail.
So down to the bank I soon flew in a flash,
To ask that the manager give me some cash.

He was dressed all in black, his demeanour quite stern.
"My dear, you must stop spending more than you earn!
But since it is Christmas I'll give you a loan."
I felt like a dog being thrown an old bone.

The stump of his pen he held tight in his grasp.
"Just sign your name here and I'll give what you ask."
The manager smiled as I walked out the door,
Then I hopped in my car with my foot to the floor.

But I heard him exclaim as I drove out of sight,
"You'll be back here next month for the Boxing Day fight!"

If the thought of holiday shopping has you ready to put on the boxing gloves, relax. A month before Dec. 25, there's Nov. 25, the official date of Buy Nothing Day.

BND, as it's known to its supporters, is a time to remember that nobody was born to shop.

It's a time to pause, think, and regain some calm before the Christmas rush begins in earnest.

It's a time to ask for that ultimate refund, 24 hours of consumer-free culture.

Like all good holidays, BND requires a little planning ahead. Here's a few suggestions (courtesy of Adbusters) of things you can do:

1. Volunteer
2. Sing in the shower
3. Turn off your cell phone
4. Have a bath in candlelight

If watching videos is more to your liking, forget about rentals and tune into the entertaining commercials produced by Adbusters in support of BND. Don't worry about reruns - these brilliant advertising spots have been banned by every major network in Canada. Enjoy!

Recommended websites:

To tune into the Adbusters' videos, or to reclaim your mental environment and sign the Media Carta manifesto, go to www.mediacarta.org.

Check out the latest video, Big Box Mart, brought to you by the fine folks at www.jibjab.com.

If your way of relaxing is learning something new, then check out a new way of accounting, brought to you by www.truecosteconomics.org.

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