God loves our brokenness

Author outlines spiritual blessings of physical suffering

By MARK PICKUP
Special to the WCR

In the parable of the Great Feast, Jesus said: "Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in here the poor and the crippled, the blind and the lame. Go out to the highways and hedgerows and make people come in that my home may be filled" (Luke 14:21, 23).

Welcome all

The Church of Christ can help suffering people find purpose and eternal context for their pain. It isn't suffering that destroys people, but the bitter experience of suffering without meaning. That's where God can help.

I have been chronically ill with degenerative multiple sclerosis most of my adult life. It has not all been bad, believe it or not. I have found purpose and eternal context for my anguish.

Christ has brought good out of my protracted suffering, in the form of seven spiritual blessings.

My first blessing came from a broken heart and a shattering of my monumental, detestable pride. In so many ways, my Christianity was shallow and counterfeit and would have remained that way had my pride not been cut back to its root.

I asked myself how Christ handled suffering. Just prior to his suffering our Lord prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).

Still, not my will but yours be done. It is the concept of total surrender to the will of God, regardless of circumstances. But how does somebody like me, so stubborn and conceited, totally surrender?

Multiple sclerosis is an excellent humiliation; it stripped me of my foolish illusions of self-sufficiency and autonomy. At times I had to rely on others for the simple, personal tasks. It mortified me and gave rise to honest, sometimes brutal self-examination. This had a purifying affect - which brought about my second blessing. With my insidious pride shattered, the light of Christ started to shine deep into my heart. Basking in the warmth of his light, my love for Christ began to grow.

Even now with each new horrible phase of degeneration, his light still warms my shoulders as I bow anew in surrender, trusting in his sovereign will. The warmth increases, his presence abides, and becomes more evident with each new terror and I submit and pray, "Still, not my will but yours be done."

Those words bring my third blessing of suffering: The opportunity to trust him when the stakes are raised horribly high. The example of Christ's Passion is teaching me that fear sharpens my focus on him.

My fourth blessing is that chronic disease helps develop patience and perseverance. Long days, months and even years convalescing encouraged the virtue of patience and perseverance. The silence of the sickroom gives context to his exhortation: "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

Then without warning, I discover my fifth blessing of suffering: Even in the midst of calamity I know he abides with me. And the sixth spiritual blessing suddenly blooms: Affliction can awaken courage in cowardly people, like me, as my understanding that my hope lies elsewhere is rekindled.

Rather than cower in disease and defeat, I can confidently strive on in my journey toward the gates of the Celestial City.

Bare bones

My loss of physical things (like body function) awakens a desire to seek eternal perspectives. This has allowed me to humbly place my anguish into the hands of God, accepting his will - whatever that might be.

Suffering, aging and death are not misfortunes to be avoided at all costs: They are indispensable ingredients to completing the living process and increasing our eternal perspectives.

My time on earth is a limited opportunity to be seized and exploited in preparation for the joy of heaven.

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