The Lover ever seeks the loved

See yourself through God's eyes

By MARK PICKUP
Special to the WCR

I asked them to tell me about her. A cascade of memories poured out, accompanied by photographs, as they reminisced about Abby's life. Although initially surprised at their willingness to freely share bittersweet memories, I was deeply touched that they trusted me with something so fragile and tender as their sorrow.

Meet Abby

Throughout her life, most people wrote Abby off as a "vegetable." But for those who made time for her, she blessed and changed their lives. It was only in her latter years, when Abby became ill and most frail, that she began to communicate through her little finger - up for yes, down for no. And then she was gone.

At the end of my visit with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I asked if Abby's disability made their lives richer or poorer. Without hesitation, both responded in unison, "Richer." Mrs. Smith told me that Abby taught them "what really matters in life." I asked, "What really matters?" "Health" she responded.

Indeed. Health does matter. Every person wants a healthy life, a healthy spouse, healthy children and grandchildren. It is right for us to always thank God for our health and the health of loved ones. But we must also be aware that health never lasts. It can't. The Fall mutated God's intention for his creation making inevitable decline and death our fate.

I know of what I write. I lost my health years ago. In my case it was the degenerative disease of multiple sclerosis. How would I answer the question: "What really matters?" Being a hopeless romantic, my answer would probably be "Love." But that answer too, is incomplete: Love of what? Just as we are not guaranteed health, neither are we guaranteed human love.

Although I am blessed with the love of a wonderful wife and family, I have met disabled people who seem utterly unloved by anyone. From all appearances they do not seem to have health or love. Here's the very good news: appearances can be deceiving. They, you, me, we are all loved by God - the author of life and love - even though our health fails, our loved ones reject us or die, even if we are so unhappy and turned in upon ourselves that we are oblivious to it.

God's love is the one constant - the only thing any of us can depend upon. The Lover ever seeks the loved (Matthew 18:12, Luke 19:10, Revelation 3:20). The loved must seek the Lover (Jeremiah 29:13, Luke 11:10, Acts 17:27). Jesus told us what really matters:

"You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments." (Matt.22:37-40).

There, we have it from none other than Christ: We must seek God and love him with our whole being. This comes first. The natural outgrowth of loving God with all our heart, soul and mind is that we will begin to ache with genuine compassion for humanity. We begin to look beyond ourselves to concern for others and that puts us on a road of marvellous spiritual healing.

My own inner healing seriously started when I stopped focusing on my own situation of slow degeneration from disease. I needed to stop stewing in my predicament and become equally concerned for the predicaments of other people. Seeking to serve rather than be served is a true indicator that spiritual healing is happening, and blessings result.

What about those who can't serve, like Abby? Again, appearances can be deceiving: Abby served by simply being here. Abby's presence called others to a higher standard of love and service. That was her gift to us.

Serving the Lord

Just prior to entering the anguish of his Passion, he said, "If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another's feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.

"Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it" (John 13:13-17).

Mutual servanthood. I am served in my suffering and serve others in theirs. This is important to understanding because it embraces the concept of human community and interdependence with Christ as our model, master and ultimate comfort.

(Third article in a Lenten series)

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