Kids inspire dad to confront his fears

By GLEN ARGAN

My mind rushed forward to the future - to holidays spent at sunny beaches, the girls playing happily in the water at lake after lake, Nora with them while I sat on the beach, my white skin tempting a sunburn. At most, I might wade tentatively into the water up to my waist and try to join in the fun. But always I would be afraid of falling into the water, spluttering and thrashing about.

I imagined going canoeing and my boat overturning. My life jacket would save me from certain death. But I would be stuck helplessly floating in the water, unable to help myself or anyone else.

"Is this any way to be a father?" I asked myself. "Is it OK to be an invalid in the water because I had never learned to swim? Is it OK for a dad to wimp out at the lake with his four daughters?"

I thought about this for weeks. Finally, I steeled myself to go to the Kinsmen Sports Centre to sign up for beginner swimming lessons. As I left the Kinsmen Centre that sunny summer afternoon, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was going to learn to swim.

A few days later, I told Nora what I had done. She was overjoyed. "Girls," she said, "Do you know what? Dad is going to take swimming lessons?" "Yippee!" a couple of them shouted.

I still wasn't sure - I was afraid of the water, afraid of this new venture and afraid of failure. But at least I had five people on the home front cheering me on.

Finally, the day of my first lesson arrived. I stood in the pool nervously with five other prospective swimmers. Our instructor got into the water with us. His name was Mark. Mark was a big strong guy, less than half my age. He was cheerful, positive and he was obviously a good swimmer. Mark asked us to put our heads under water and blow bubbles. After a few tentative tries, I succeeded.

Then Mark asked us to float on our backs. "Are you serious?" I responded. I tried, but fear wouldn't let me do it. "Here, let's get you a PFD," said Mark. I put on the life jacket, Mark got behind me to hold me when I leaned back, then he let go and I floated. It was humiliating. In this class, I was the most "non" of all the non-swimmers.

The first lesson was the worst. But I came every week after that and I came a couple of times during the week to practise. By the end of 10 weeks, I could do the backstroke the full length of the pool and I had lost a lot of my fear. But I still couldn't put together all the elements of the front crawl - kicking, arm movements and especially breathing.

So I kept working at it. And on Jan. 12, 2000, I swam my first full length of the pool. To many people, it wouldn't mean much. But I see it as one of my greatest personal accomplishments - at age 47, after a lifetime of fear of the water, I had learned to swim. Several months later, I swam a whole mile, 64 lengths of the pool.

The story doesn't end there, however. Learning to swim touched something deep inside of me. I now wanted to try more new things. The next year, I took a Christopher Leadership Course and then I joined Toastmasters. I liked the challenge and the thrill of giving speeches before an audience.

I expect to take on other new challenges. And it's important to note that this all started because I took seriously the example of my own children.

Fatherhood involves giving of yourself to your children. But they give back and inspire you too. Learning to swim was a watershed point in my life. And it was my children who put me there. But another part of being a parent is showing your children that you're never too old to overcome your greatest fears.

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